Napkin Skills

yes, yes, you all are asking, you all want to know...how do I end up with so many napkins? It's an art my friend. Let me pass on the knowledge of my ancient art. Basically, whenever you are anywhere that napkins are present, grab a bunch. You'll use a few probably, but then, ah, there are some left at the end. Fold them up, put them in your bag, in your pocket, in your purse, in your glove compartment, anywhere. The key is this: take them with you. Then, later on can have two ways to enjoy your napkins. 1. you can store them up in a depository at home where your diverse array of napkin colors and styles will impress guests to no end. 2. Napkins will be coming out of the woodwork throughout your day, because you'll keep finding where you hid them. Who has ever had too many napkins? I dont see any hands...

So, cherish your napkins, protect them. Ensure them a long life, and that will ensure you that you will never, ever actually have to buy a napkin. Now, you must keep in mind. These places are giving their napkins away. They seriously are. They actually plan for people coming in and taking them. SO...we are given full authority to take them. This is in no way a questionable moral area, because I'm not saying take like a massive stack, just a bunch. Its give and take just like any well-balanced relationship: I give them business, they give me napkins.

Also amusing...I was at a Carl's Jr. in Saltillo, Mexico back in high school...and they had a huge sign on the wall inside the place that said "Free Napkins". I guess maybe there was a shortage at one point or something. Napkin rations must have been imposed. "Sorry ma'am you're only allowed half a napkin. Nope, you're just going to have to live with that mustard right there"