Saturday, January 07, 2006

Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris Facts (thought you might enjoy these. If you're a guy you'll understand)

1. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.

2. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.

3. The chief export of Chuck Norris is pain.

4. If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can’t see Chuck Norris, you may be only seconds away from death.

5. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.

6. Chuck Norris does not hunt because the word hunting infers
the probability of failure. Chuck Norris goes killing.

7. Chuck Norris doesn’t wash his clothes, he disembowels them.

8. In fine print on the last page of the Guinness Book of World Records it notes that all world records are held by Chuck Norris, and those listed in the book are simply the closest anyone else has ever gotten.

9. There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.

10. The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed misserably.

11. If you ask Chuck Norris what time it is, he always says, “Two seconds ’til.” After you ask, “Two seconds ’til what?” he roundhouse kicks you in the face.

12. Chuck Norris doesn’t churn butter. He roundhouse kicks the cows and the butter comes straight out

13. The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’ fist.

14. Nagasaki never had a bomb dropped on it. Chuck Norris jumped out of a plane and punched the ground.

15. When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes ever.

16. Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris

17. In an average living room there are 1,242 objects Chuck Norris could use to kill you, including the room itself.

18. Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.

19. Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

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